Emotional Battle

LOVE

The hate I feel for that word grows stronger each day.

Its agony in such a sweet form.

Four letters that bring a Heavy Burden.

LOVE

You speak it with such ease.

My throat clinches as I try to swallow it.

So candy coated and sweet but so poisonous in the end.

LOVE

The weakest of people cling to it as though it was last hope.

Its the very substance of our own self Hate.

It requires your submission for its dominance.

LOVE vs. HATE

Which of these is greater.

One brings Sweet Companionship and Devastation when taken away.

And the other doesn't allow the Vulnerability that causes the Devastation.

How can something as Great as Love require Us to Expose our Weakest Spots to obtain it?

HATE

The Sting of this is Far Greater.

Once you have embraced this feeling you will find Love less.

Its a relief among the Pain.

HATE

It sharpens your Heart and Dulls your weakness.

It requires so little of you.

But consumes every part of you at the same time.

HATE

It pulls its power from Solidarity.

The more alone you are the More powerful you can be.

How do you measure such a Force of Emotion?

HATE vs. LOVE

Hate can overcome Love with the simplest of ease.

One will leave you a Hard Cold shell of a Person.

The other will leave you Thriving for the Next Fix.

Why does Hate come at such a High Cost? All consuming and relentless to anyone who crosses it!

So in this battle you have Love & Hate. One Builds you up as a Warrior and the Other Breaks you down and then turns you to stone. One allows you a conscience and remorse. The other makes your Heartless and Unforgiving.

Choose wisely for each of these is Great.

Tears of a Regretful Mother

Sitting in my truck with a pen and folded paper. On this folded paper reads the very last things that I would ever say. "To My Children...I have tried to be the best mother that I could be. Your smiling faces and laughter will never be forgotten. Every kiss that I had given you in the night while you were asleep will be with me always. This is not your fault. And I love you.To My Parents...I am sorry that I have never been the perfect daughter that you expected but I am not sorry that I was who I am. You two have been my Rock. Daddy, I love you and I forgive you. Mom, I love you and You have been the best Mother that I could never of been. And to Carlos...I am sorry I was so selfish with my own life to never be there for yours. I LOVE YOU ALL DEARLY!"I get out of my truck and start walking. Standing here I can see the miles of endless ocean. I can feel every rain drop land on my face and roll down my cheeks hiding my tears. I stand here with my heart bearing a heavy burden. My mind is weighted down by my endless regrets of my life. As I am standing on the edge of this cliff, 3 things become certain for me. First there is no turning back, Secondly I am sorry, and Thirdly I love you. I step closer to the ledge to look down. As I lean over I can feel the mist of the angry waves slashing against the jagged rocks below. A gust of wind slams into me and I almost lose my balance. I drop to my knees. "I am sorry, I know this isnt how its suppose to be. The Pain and Regret have over taken my heart! My heart struggles to beat under all of this. I shouted with my hands clinched into fists. "Theres nothing ever wrong but nothings ever right...Its such a Cruel Contridiction." I can feel it starting to rain harder and I can hear the sea lashing out against the rocks even harder. Each breath becomes harder to take as my frustrations overtake me. Finally I come to my feet and start walking back to my truck. I can barely see the headlights due to the thick midnight Fog. Stopping in front of my truck I turn and just stand there blankly looking into the night.

I START TO RUN...I AM RUNNING SO FAST THAT I FEEL AS IF MY FEET HAD WINGS...I LEAP OFF THE CLIFF WITH MY ARMS OUT STRETCHED...THE FEELING OF FALLING WAS SUPREMELY SATISFYING...THE FREEDOM I FELT IN THOSE LAST SECONDS WAS MORE THEN I HAD EVER FELT IN MY LIFE....... These are the tears of my life. I hope that you know each one was for a hurt that I have felt.