My Innocences

Someone once asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. As a child my answer was probably something that was unrealistic. But isn't that how dreams start? In the innocence of our childhood we could accomplish anything as long as we were home by the time the street lamps came on. When I was about 8 or 9, I remember putting on my dress up clothes and just twirling around in my backyard singing and just being in a wonderful dream land where there was what seemed like a never ending field of flowers and green grass. I could feel the breeze, smell the flowers, and just run for miles and still be alone. I loved every minute of it. I never just sang any song that I knew by heart it was always some song that I just made up, it was a song that was just imbedded in my heart. In all the chaos of being a young overly active child I found such solitude and peace when I was in my backyard wearing and old tattered dress singing at the top of my lungs, about Love and Romance. But at that age we see Love and Romance in the physical form of Prince Charming. As a little girl I always found that being the Damsel in Distress was the most romantic. I had a perception on my life that I was going to be that Princess in need of rescuing. Oh how wonderful that would have been.
But along the way you have to grow up. You find yourself struggling with that once so vivid fantasy world and the world you live in. Somewhere along that path I lost my fantasy. I lost the most precious thing in my life and that was my innocence. My childhood, My fantasy world, My Love and My Romance. It seemed like I was stranded without my Happily Ever After.
Now that I am grown and I look back at my childhood, I find it hard to just relish in the happiness because it ended too soon. How does a child go from dressing up and singing about Love to dealing with Sex and Lust. I can tell you exactly when I lost my innocence. I was thrown into the world with disillusions and heartache at the age of 11. I found myself looking for my Prince Charming in a bed. I found myself looking for that Love and Romance, I so desperately longed for, in MEN. As a grown woman I have shared my bed with men that were Toads and Trolls. Just to find that Love that was stripped from me.
Never take for granted the innocence of a child, Never stop a child from dreaming. In the minds of children lies untouched worlds and freedom to be whatever they want. What I would give to go back, even for a second, and reconnect with that world where nothing can harm you, where you are surrounded by love, joy and peace.
The passion of a child could change the hearts of millions, or at least the heart of a tired dreamer.