Tears of a Regretful Mother

Sitting in my truck with a pen and folded paper. On this folded paper reads the very last things that I would ever say. "To My Children...I have tried to be the best mother that I could be. Your smiling faces and laughter will never be forgotten. Every kiss that I had given you in the night while you were asleep will be with me always. This is not your fault. And I love you.To My Parents...I am sorry that I have never been the perfect daughter that you expected but I am not sorry that I was who I am. You two have been my Rock. Daddy, I love you and I forgive you. Mom, I love you and You have been the best Mother that I could never of been. And to Carlos...I am sorry I was so selfish with my own life to never be there for yours. I LOVE YOU ALL DEARLY!"I get out of my truck and start walking. Standing here I can see the miles of endless ocean. I can feel every rain drop land on my face and roll down my cheeks hiding my tears. I stand here with my heart bearing a heavy burden. My mind is weighted down by my endless regrets of my life. As I am standing on the edge of this cliff, 3 things become certain for me. First there is no turning back, Secondly I am sorry, and Thirdly I love you. I step closer to the ledge to look down. As I lean over I can feel the mist of the angry waves slashing against the jagged rocks below. A gust of wind slams into me and I almost lose my balance. I drop to my knees. "I am sorry, I know this isnt how its suppose to be. The Pain and Regret have over taken my heart! My heart struggles to beat under all of this. I shouted with my hands clinched into fists. "Theres nothing ever wrong but nothings ever right...Its such a Cruel Contridiction." I can feel it starting to rain harder and I can hear the sea lashing out against the rocks even harder. Each breath becomes harder to take as my frustrations overtake me. Finally I come to my feet and start walking back to my truck. I can barely see the headlights due to the thick midnight Fog. Stopping in front of my truck I turn and just stand there blankly looking into the night.

I START TO RUN...I AM RUNNING SO FAST THAT I FEEL AS IF MY FEET HAD WINGS...I LEAP OFF THE CLIFF WITH MY ARMS OUT STRETCHED...THE FEELING OF FALLING WAS SUPREMELY SATISFYING...THE FREEDOM I FELT IN THOSE LAST SECONDS WAS MORE THEN I HAD EVER FELT IN MY LIFE....... These are the tears of my life. I hope that you know each one was for a hurt that I have felt.