Fantasy of Mine

The double doors open and there you are.
Standing in front of me.
I can smell the sweetness of your skin.
I liked my lips and I swear I could taste your kiss.
As we brush past one another I take a deep breath.
Your touch makes me weak to my knees.
But in this weakness I find a sort of Sexual Rage.
I grabbed you by the shirt and pushed you against the wall.
With all my passion I lunge in and Kiss you.
Your respond back to my aggressive behavior by putting your
hand on the back on my head and grabbing a fist full of my hair causing
me to be submissive to you.
So I slowly start to loosen your tie and unbotton your shirt.
I run my fingers down your chest feeling the hair run between them.
I lightly kiss down your chin to your neck. Feeling your stubble rub across my
soft cheek.
You grab my face with your hands and softly rub your thumb over my lips.
In that moment I hear a suble voice saying, "Maam. Maam."
I turn my head and see somone trying for my attention.
In my haze I realize that it was a fantasy.
I look around for my Fantasy Man ... And there he stood.
Quietly by the door frame silently bound to a never ending bond around his finger.
So I politely walk by looking down at the floor. I bite my lip in frustration!

Only & Always Half of Me

I have given you my heart.
I have given you half of my heart.
To have, To hold, To keep safe & To make your own.
With my heart in your hands, I have gone my separate way.
Living only half of my life. Loving only half of the world.
Giving only half of myself. Only half of me is free.
This is the life I have chosen.
When we meet again I shall ask for my heart back.
If you were to give it back to me, I would still only be half a person.
But if you kept it close and if you have entwined my heart with your body & soul.
Then I shall be whole again.
To have a whole heart with love means nothing if you dont share it.
You my dearest are sharing one of the greatest gifts I could ever give to you.
I trust you with it. I trust you with me. I trust your love for me.
I have fallen and you have caught me.

My Maniacal Mind

The Hate.
My Fear.
The Loneliness.
My Decisions.
The Resentment.
My Love.
The Loyalty.
My Betrayal.
The Truth.
My Lies.

I hate your touch.
My craving for love.
I hate you looking at me.
My want for attention.
I hate your voice.
My need for direction.
I hate your heart.
My longing for love.

The Good.
My Evil.
The Righteous.
My Wrong Doing.
The Only.
My Many.
The Alive.
My Death.
The Straight.
My Twisted.

Its the smoke after the Fire.
I am holding the gasoline.
Its the sickness I feel.
I am drinking the poison.
Its the walk back.
I am lost.
Its the simplicity of nothing.
I am the one with everything.

The chasing of an incomplete circle that leads back to an end that is not there.

The end of the story that puts you right back at the beginning.

Knowing that the knowlegdge you know holds no value in life.

Its up when you want to go down and left when you want to go right.

The searching of a treasure that has no more value then self realization.

Its the life that has been given to us that we just throw away.

The map with the directions on them that flies out the window.

The breeze through the trees that carries the fires farther.

Its the Self Destructive Nature of this Life. Its the Chaos all around us.